


I Will

by adhdsoras



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adhdsoras/pseuds/adhdsoras
Summary: Emerald makes the decision to defect - Mercury does not.Spoiler-free for volume 8, just based on a possible separation arc.
Relationships: Mercury Black/Emerald Sustrai
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	I Will

**Author's Note:**

> "Stay with me / hold my hand / there's no need to be brave"  
>  \- Mitski; I Will
> 
> This was inspired by a scene from spop... if you know then you know.

She committed the image of the lamp to memory. She memorized the pattern of its faint pulsation of turquoise light, the way that it shifted in size when it left someone’s hand. Weightless - that’s how it must have felt, that it was somehow warm and comforting despite its metal handle and its golden accents. Emerald summoned the image of Ruby - distressed, bleeding, and bruised, her clothes seared and her eyes wet. Her high-pitched, wavering voice always stumbled over words and stuttered when she was afraid. The sound of her boots pounding against Beacon’s stone floor when she ran up in excitement, filled her mind until it was the only sound that Emerald could hear. Ruby and Yang were going to break through the door, they would fight Emerald until she had one of them bleeding on the floor, broken and sobbing, and Oscar would say the magic word. He’d tell her how to use the lamp.

Maybe she’d find a way to get him out, too, but not yet, not now. Emerald had no way of opening the cage with bars made from Monstra’s body, trapping Oscar in her veins. 

_ One day… I promise. _

She waited in silence, her mind and her aura reaching past the gap underneath the door, her back pressed against the wall, determined to sense Hazel when he was coming. She felt his approach, conjuring Mercury in front of her, cooly leaning against a pillar, scuffing his boots on the ground. He used to wait around like that in the mornings at Beacon, just outside the door waiting for her to wake up, ready to bounce off her. He was always patient, attentive, almost. He never really complained or snapped at her when she took too long or woke up late. She never knew how long he stood out there, or why, when it was a room that they shared, but he did it anyway.

It was sweet, but that wasn’t him - he did everything with purpose, everything had an end to justify the mean. She had a purpose then.

What was that purpose now?

Emerald didn’t know, not when she realized that she’d never make it out alive, that there were six different knives pointed and angled at her back, waiting for her to move, to slip up. She needed to go… She  _ wanted  _ to go, to do something good.

Hazel didn’t bat an eye as he passed the illusion of Mercury in the hall, and Emerald made him press off the pillar and move with light feet towards the door of the chamber. That’s how he always moved - in a way that made it feel like his feet barely even touched the floor, that you couldn’t hear or see coming. She put his illusion next to her, the vision of his arm clipping through her real one. She waited until Hazel was down the end of the hallway before she left his mind slip from hers, Mercury fazing out of existence as she walked through his apparition and into the cell’s chamber, her entrance causing Oscar to look up at her briefly. 

She waited a few minutes, counting on Mercury to be late - she knew Hazel left on time, regardless of whether Mercury showed up late or not. She knew that because she was always the reason he had been late, insisting on training or helping her make food. Any excuse so she wouldn’t have to be alone. She had been alone all her life, Emerald didn’t want to be alone again… Mercury was good company.

The doors snapped open, loud and vibrant against the eerie quiet of the holding area. Oscar’s eyes snapped up immediately, his eyes lighting up as Ruby and Yang stood in the doorway. Emerald felt her heart sink at his excitement, swallowing her guilt as she made Yang lunge in her direction, causing the image of herself to flip before unloading her gun in her direction. She switched focus to Ruby, making her use her semblance to get into the cage. She had seen her do it on the Atlas security footage that Watts had sent them recently - split her body in two in a burst of rose petals, letting her move around pillars and through objects. She talked in excited, hushed tones, hugging him tight before giving him the lamp and let herself out again, telling him to stay there because his aura was too low.

Emerald was back to focusing on the fight, giving a few minutes for the altercation to increase in tension, making it appear the Ruby and Yang had the upper hand before she faked in a call for backup. She didn’t give it long before She introduced Cinder into the scenario, busting through the doors, fire coming from her mouth as she screamed, completely unhinged, fire bursting from the corner of her eyes. She attacked Ruby with no hesitation, slamming her to the ground, knocking crescent rose out of her hand. She watched as Oscar screamed out to her, his hand still tight on the relic as she replicated its sensation.

_ He’s actually buying it… poor kid. _

His eyes flashed in Yang’s direction only to see her restrained by Emerald’s rope. Frantically, he looked back to Ruby as Cinder breathed fire just above her face, talking nonsensically. He looked at the relic in his hand.

“Jinn!”

_ Jinn, huh? _

With the word, the fight melted away and Emerald collapsed against the bars of the cell. She saw the heartbreak in his eyes, the anger that pulsated through him. She swallowed, shutting her eyes tight and tilting her head up towards the ceiling, giving her a moment for her brain to stop working. There had been too many moving parts, too many emotions, and yet her brain didn’t pound against her skull. It was just exhaustion, relief. 

When she stood she looked down at him, seeing his frustration, the way that tears brimmed in his eyes. She knew that kid, looking up at her - she’d seen them in an ally with two guns whipped out in front of them, shaking with violence. She had that look once - terrified, furious, desperate - she wore that look a lot less now, but sometimes when she looked in the mirror she was just that little girl, tucked between the corner of two buildings, all alone, scared for dear life.

Not much had changed.

Although part of her thought it had, for a little while, at least.

Emerald gave a silent apology as she went. 

She left the chamber with guilt rising in her chest, her hand tight on her wrist, the image of Oscar’s devastated face and sorrow-filled eyes sticking to her vision as she walked. She turned down the corner, walking past the dark walls and taking a sharp left, repeating the word in her mind -  _ Jinn _ .

Rounding the corner, Mercury was standing on the opposite end of the hall, his hands at his side. Something in him shifted when he saw her - it was something she had begun to notice more and more, the way that his shoulders lost tension, the way that a smirk appeared on his lips and suddenly he was cocky and confident again. An ache formed in her chest as her eyes landed at his hip, the relic of knowledge hanging cooly at his side. That ache, that bitter sting of pain only grew as her mind reeled in the realization that by the end of this conversation, she’d be leaving with the lamp, that if he chose to stay this would be their last conversation.

It was goodbye.

Emerald never had to say goodbye before - there had never been anything worth saying goodbye to.

“What were you doing in the cell?” Despite his question and raise of his brows, Mercury’s growing smile and his tone told Emerald that he already knew the answer, “You got how to use the lamp out of him, didn’t you? Tricked Hazel and everything… how did it feel, torturing a twelve-year-old?” 

Emerald rolled her eyes, scoffing as she walked further down the hall, meeting him halfway before stopping, hesitating. Her eyes glanced over the lamp again, “I didn’t torture him! I might have taken advantage of the fact that he cared about other people, but I didn’t traumatize him.”

Mercury laughed slightly, shaking his head a little before his face hardened, his smile dropping from his face, “So… you headin’ out, huh?”

Emerald swallowed, “Yeah. You know what you’re doing?”

“I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be,” He pressed his lips into a tight smile. Emerald felt her heart sink, causing her to deflate, playing with a bracelet for a moment. She didn’t want to move, to even think, but she knew she needed to go, she needed the relic - it was her ticket, her one way out, her one way in with team RWBY. 

“It’s a shame, really,” Mercury dramatically resigned, unhooking the relic from a loop on his belt and holding it out in front of him, extending his hand, “I guess someone pretended to be me and stole the lamp right under Cinder’s nose. Never got to ask my question or anything.”

“What?”

“This isn’t because I like you or anything,” His voice was tight and deep, his knuckles flashing white for a moment as he extended his hand, his eyebrows furrowed. Emerald swallowed, her heart pounding and her mind racing, desperate to interpret the situation. She stepped closer, hesitant before softly reaching out for the lamp, her fingers grazing over his knuckles. She bit her cheek to stop herself from cringing, knowing that he hated when other people touched him. It never stopped him, though, from touching her shoulder or grabbing her wrist - she summed it up to the fact that maybe he was comfortable with her, or because he knew his intentions but could never see other people’s. She watched his reaction, seeing the way that his face twisted at the burst of contact before quickly returning to a neutral expression. Emerald was right about the lamp - it felt like nothing, but it felt warm, gentle. Mercury looked at her, with cool, vacant eyes, almost like all the light from them had disappeared, “You were gonna steal it anyways. Why not just make it easier on both of us?”

Emerald nodded, fumbling slightly as she connected the lamp with her belt. She could feel him freezing up, stood still, arms at his side, staring at her like she was nothing. He was distancing himself from her, not physically, but emotionally. She looked up and she saw how he straightened, squaring his shoulders, watching her movements, shifting his weight. 

He didn’t want to get hurt. He was just as terrified as she was, maybe even more so. 

She closed the distance between them silently, meeting his gray eyes, watching as he looked down at her, tilting his head. Emerald cautiously, slowly, raised her arm, watching the look in his eyes as she did it. He turned away, scarcely looking back at her. He didn’t move back or fight it, he stood still, patiently, waiting for the spark of contact. Emerald lightly put her hand on his bicep, watching the lump form in his throat, the way that his breath hitched and he looked at her with wild, panicked eyes. He didn’t push back, or knock her arm away… He wanted this, to feel her hand against him, to be touched without the intent of harm. He wanted it so much that despite the way that he panicked, that he struggled to breathe, Mercury let it happen, and slowly he melted into the sensation.

Emerald couldn’t stop looking up at him, watching him with his staggered breath and fearful eyes.  _ I will never hurt you… I promise. I won’t ever hurt you - I don’t want to hurt you, Merc. _ Her silent pleas, her silent vows went unheard but they vibrated through her, sending shivers down her spine as she caressed his arm, running her thumb up and down the fabric. She touched him with thieving fingers - fingers not meant to be felt by others, with an apparition of touch, and yet he felt her violently, completely.  _ Why can’t you just do the easy thing, the right thing… why can’t things be easy, just this once? _

“Thank you, for being there for me,” Her voice was quiet, soft. It was raw, strained despite never yelling. Her throat was dry, forcing her to swallow as she watched his expression change, shock emphasized in his brow, “You’re my best friend, Merc and I-”

_ I don't want to go without you. I don’t want to be alone anymore. Please… stay with me. _

He shut his eyes, moving his right hand, his fingers twitching with apprehension, hovering over her own. He opened his eyes a bit more, watching as he placed his hand on top of her own, his fingers grazing over her knuckles, making her mind go numb. No one had ever touched her with so much consideration or warmth. Tears stung behind her eyes, realizing that she wanted more than this - these slight touches. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, to hold him close. Emerald wanted to caress his cheek, run her thumb over his jaw. She wanted it violently, desperately, a different kind of hunger rising in her chest. Mercury’s hand shifted, his voice low as he spoke, “I can’t fuck it all up for you, Em. You’re a good person - you just got dealt a shit hand.”

_ You’re a good person. _

Someone thought that she was good, that she could do better, that she could grow. 

“You can be good too… I know you can.”

“Ha, you’ve always been hopeful, haven't you?” His voice was bitter, envious, and yet it was fond all the same, “I’m a lost cause.”

His hand fell from hers and Emerald felt the world shift beneath her, realizing that he was letting go. He was letting her go… He was done with her. She swallowed the tears that rose to the surface of her eyes, blinking harshly as she dragged her fingertips down the length of his arm, watching as he flinched but refused to pull away. Her fingertips brushed over the back of his hand and she froze there, her fingers hovering just above his own, watching them twitch before he pressed his hand tighter against hers, feeling her fingers gracefully, tenderly run over his knuckles, intertwining their fingers.

She wasn’t ready to say goodbye, conflicting feelings rising in her chest, devastation taking over as his hand pressed gently against her palm. 

“I won’t hold back, next time we see each other.”

Emerald frowned, pulling her hand from his, “I can’t hurt you like he did - he destroyed you, Merc. He took everything from me.”

“You hurt me in a way only you can, Emerald,” He smiled, shaking his head, walking past her, “even if you don’t mean to.”

Staring at his back, she took a deep breath, clenching her fist, “If you change your mind… at any point, at any time, I’ll gladly have you with me. I- I liked spending time with you, despite the stupid jokes and all the weird teenage angst… You can be with me.”

“Emerald… you have to go.” His voice was cold, distant. He walked farther down the hall and Emerald resisted against the way that her body begged her to move.

“Will you miss me?” The words fell out of her mouth, and she shut her eyes tight, digging her fingers into her palm.

“That’d be a stupid thing for me to do.”

“But… Will you?”

“What about you, Em?”

“I will.” Her voice was so steady, so sure despite the way that uncertainty rested neatly in her chest.

“Don’t do anything stupid… like missing people.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Emerald laughed, her hand scarcely drumming over the lamp that hung at her side. 

“Yeah, maybe that why I do stupid stuff,” He mumbled, looking over his shoulder back at her briefly, and once again it was like the world had shifted. Mercury had never looked like that, with a fond melancholy etched on his features. Emerald swallowed, the unsaid words that hung in the air stagnant in her mind. 

_ Like missing you… _

It stung, it bit in the back of her mind as she turned on her heels and pressed further down the hall, desperate to detect any sign of other people, anxiously waiting for Cinder to round a corner. She didn’t like the feeling, the way that a hole slowly dug inside her chest and ate at her heart until she was numbly stood at the docking stations that lined Monstra’s stomach, staring blankly up at the cruiser that she was about to steal. It didn’t feel right, but… it was what she wanted to do, it was the right thing.

How did doing something good feel so wrong? How did it ache and burn like an open wound?

_ Because Mercury isn’t here. _

It was too late to turn back.

She opened the ship’s hanger door and stepped inside, sealing her fate as it slowly closed with a faint click. 


End file.
